Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Ducks, Gypsies and rotting bread products?

So I've had gypsies in the park for several weeks now - most of them have pulled out, but a couple remain. Yesterday afternoon I was mowing near the gypsies and noticed a box of garbage near their site and thought "ugh! so annoying." When I was ready to take a load of other crap of theirs to the dumpster, I rode past to pick up the box... that was full of hay. That's when I noticed the livestock tied to the site fence. A full site away from any gypsies there are 2 ducks tied to a sign post. Half of me was delighted by finding some free ducks (DUCKS!) and the other half was disappointed in the treatment of these animals (oddly, my third half just felt sleepy).

Assuming this livestock belongs to the gypsies that used to be parked near - but not in this spot, I knocked on a couple of trailer doors. They weren't answered and I wasn't surprised - for one, gypsies rarely answer the door, because they assume you want to collect rent. Also, only three cars were parked in the area. For them to be home, there would have to be three cars AND two trucks. A local lady who parks in the campground saw me and I waved her over and asked her if she knew anything about ducks. Conversation ensues:

Setting:

Site 64, Covered Wagon RV Park, Abilene, KS, USA

Players:

Cassie, an awkward girl
Mrs. K, nice lady with good intentions where animals are concerned
Mr. K, nice man with similar good intentions
Gypsy Man (no description necessary)
Gypsy Woman (no description necessary)
Patty and Alan Orange, ducks at large

Cassie: Do you know anything about ducks? (Nervous and slightly giddy laugh)
Mrs. K: Ducks?
Cassie: There are ducks here! I think they may be abandoned. I've knocked on doors, but no one's home to claim them. And no one asked me if they could tie their ducks up here.
Mrs. K: Oh, they look hungry! Do you have a cracker?
Cassie: Not on me.
Mrs. K: I hope they don't eat them!
Cassie: I wouldn't put it past them... (shrugs)

(Mr. K enters, Campground west)

Cassie: I think somebody left me some ducks?
Mr. K: Whose are they?
Cassie: I'm not sure... no one is home to claim them.
Patty and Alan: Quack.
Mr. K: Well - if there are still here tomorrow, let me know and I will take them to my friends' pond, but I don't want anyone to shoot me while I'm taking these ducks.
Cassie: Ok... sounds like a plan. (Her heart is breaking a little, because she already luvs Alan and Patty.)

Intermission - during this time, Cassie calls her mother (who also laughs hysterically about the ducks), gathers her camera and old hot dog buns.

Later in the same setting with Gypsy Man:
Cassie: Do you know anything about these ducks?
Gypsy Man: Hey, Gypsy Woman, she wants to know about those ducks!
Gyspy Woman: Oh, those are the boy's ducks!
Cassie to herself: The same boy that can't be expected to be the least bit responsible for his inanimate possessions. Genius.
Gypsy Man: Why, do you want them?
Cassie: (YESYESYES! Do you have any goats?!) Well, I can find them a good home.
Gypsy Man: Well, we might just leave them with you.
Cassie: Well let me know if that's what you decide to do - either way can you move them next to your camper so people will know they were not just abandoned?
Gypsy Man: Sure!
Cassie: Thanks. Well, can I give 'em some bread?
Gypsy Man: You are so sweet honey, anytime!

Now I don't yet have possession of Patty or Alan, but if and when that happens I'll let you know!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Still laughing. But you didn't finish your thoughts... Cassie with cartoon style thought bubble: I can fix broken water pipes, feed stray cats, clean out sewer lines, trim trees and drive heavy equipment - but I never had ducks before!@!@!

Anonymous said...

Wow what a resume you are building
AND YOU REALLY WANT GOATS? last blog was cowboys in tight pants and this week it is DUCKS whats next? but just think of the fun you are having LUV U GRAMS

DJ said...

"gypsies rarely answer the door, because they assume you want to collect rent."

Hahahhahaa! Also, does that duck have a mohawk?

Anonymous said...

I really don't think I've EVER laughed that hard. Your life is the most interesting of anyone I know.

I think that duck DOES have a mohawk!

Anonymous said...

So... Just for my own edification... Gypsy men DO refer to their wives as "Gypsy Woman"? Also... Did they speak with a think Eastern European accent, or is that some kind of cultural stereotype? Thirdly, did he have a very large mustache? Was he wearing a fez? Do gypsies wear fez's? I always picture gypsies as organ grinders and I may be getting my wires crossed on that.

Sorry... I'm fascinated by gypsies. Seriously, I need answers to these questions. If I ever meet gypsies I don't want to appear as being culturally uneducated. Of course, if I ever meet gypsies, being culturally uneducated may be the least of my problems.

Sorry if any gypsies took any offense to that last comment. I've had a lot of Red Bull. You understand.