Thursday, June 26, 2008

the great thing about having iGoogle -

And really only Tara's taking advantage of this - but each time I update the blog I will update the gadget that I update the blog - think of the time saved not having to go to the blog just to be disappointed.

Just sayin'.

I drove...

... a backhoe today. By far my biggest piece of equipment yet. You see, today has been crazy hectic. It all started when a camper got a little tiny zap from an outlet. Then my mom got mad and said you're moving with your Auntie and Uncle to Belair. No, but we dug a little and realized the power cables were pretty rotted and shocking people through the ground and potentially wasting a lot of money for the campground. So we decided that this morning we would trench. During the trenching (which I supervised and ran a little- even though the backhoe is larger, the trencher is by far the biggest pain-in-the-neck piece of equipment ever), we hit and broke a *ta-da* sewer pipe. The worst aspect of campground management. so we dug and dug and dug some more. Anyway - as of 4:00 pm this afternoon we (we being mostly Rod, Dad and Mom cuz I had to work job#2, but I did dig until noon and I made sandwiches...) had fixed the sewer pipe, worked job#2, and received a shipment of nearly 800 lbs of picnic tables (not the usual method of quantity measurement, but more impressive than saying '8'). And returned said trencher and backhoe. The job is nowhere near done- but at least we can use the shower to wash this dirt and sweat off. It was nearly 100 degrees here today. Anyway. Maybe some of you don't know what a backhoe is. Well, then, maybe some of you should look at this picture.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I once was sick.... but now I am well. (take 2)

First off - let me say that I had started to blog this, and then the page refreshed and deleted my entry. Which sucks. And it was brilliant - and now it's going to have lost all it's spontaneity. And won't be as funny. I remember the really high points... but well... I'll let you know when I'm done with this post how much you are missing out on.

I am finally not sick. Wow... that sentence was way better in the 1st blog. Somehow this weekend (I don't know how, ok?!) I caught strep throat. Or maybe I had it for awhile and it finally came to head Monday and Tuesday. At it's high, my temperature was 103 degrees. My eyeballs were melting. I don't remember the last time I was that hot. Not since high school. Bah-dum-bump. But, seriously folks, thank goodness my parents are here because I just slept the last 2 days away. Another sincere shout-out goes to Alexander Fleming, the discover-er of pencillan (the use of it as a medicine props go to Howard Walter Florey) and to Dr. Biggs, the prescriber-er. I'm feeling much better. Shoot. I know this paragraph was better in take 1.

In other news - a couple of days ago I teased you with the idea of me being a cowboy and my parents being a pirate. I didn't get to be a cowboy- although maybe someday I will so I won't reveal too much about it here (mainly because then when I tell it in the blog it will be the 3rd iteration. Which would be that much less funny. ) But my parents did get to be pirates. They went on a poker run - which is a cool thing that I had never heard of before I came to Kansas but I hope they go on forever and ever. For those of you who have also not heard of them - you go from bar to bar (on a motorcyle, wearing bandanas - hence the pirate below)


You drive to the bar with the other motorcylists...like a gang. My mom is either a pirate or a member of the crips. Or bloods. I can never keep my gangs straight. At each bar (or restaurant I guess) you get get a poker card and at the end of five bars whoever has the best poker hand wins a pot. Not a cooking pot, but a gambling pot. The remainder of the entry fees goes to charity. There are several reasons why this is good:
1)Gambling for charity is the kind of sinning God likes.
2)Motorcyclers who drink too much and then drive in a gang....well, call it thinning the herd.
3)Bandannas aren't just for pirates and bassett hounds anymore - they are also for your mom!
4)When a gang of motorcyclers comes into a bar that on a good day makes 100, 200 bucks, it must be a great day when there's a poker run. I'd bet it's pretty lucrative.
Mom and dad didn't have the best poker hand at the end of the ride - but they had a good time. This was mom's first and she said she'd do it again, so that's pretty telling. The told me some tales (probably tall) so that I could blog about it and give you guys something interesting to read:
* A lady (large lady) was driving a Harley and it fell over on her. Mom and dad helped to pick it up - she promptly left them holding it to go get her husband. I told mom and dad they should have driven off - some Harley owner would've given us at least $45 for the spare parts, or scrap metal is expensive these days, ya know.
* There was probably about 100 riders. Can you imagine being a bartender at one of these places?
* This is note-worthy, but should it be? I don't know. There was one man who was riding on the 'Bitch' seat (not my label), while the motorcycle was driven by his woman. I can only imagine the jokes he had to endure.
* There was one extremely large Harley driver who decided to risk road-rash and sunburn and take his shirt off. And his pants were slung low. This is one point I wish my mom had snapped a photo to offer Dan Judy his required proof. They could hear the other riders yelling "Just say no!" and "Dude, put your shirt on!" Like a train wreck, I don't really want to see it...but this would be funnier with the shock of a visual aid. Wow, I don't think I've used the word visual aid since high school.

Speaking of shock, we turn now to George Carlin. I think George Carlin is hilarious and he is probably one of the first celebrities that I was actually saddened by his death. Although, maybe not. I was never a huge fan of Meet the Press. I liked it, but it was always a little too intellectual for me... too much critical thinking makes me sleepy. But after reading and hearing about Tim Russert I thought to myself, it's actually too bad - not just 'cause he was young and 'cause he had a family, but shell-fishly because he sounded like the kinda guy I would've liked to have known.

Anyway - Carlin - great in a completely different way - in what was possibly his last interview, the interviewer asked him for the funniest joke George had ever heard. Stop now if you are easily (or not so much) offended. Well, stop, comment and then come back in 2 or 3 days for the next blog. This is the joke (taken from this blog)he told:

Father and son, little son are out on the back porch, passing the day, father says to son, “Do you have perhaps any questions for me about sex?” And he says, “Well, yeah Dad, what is that hairy area on Mommy?” And the father says, “Well, that’s her vulva.” And the boy says, “Well then what’s a cunt?” And the father says, “That’s rest of Mommy.”

According to George - humor is in the surprise. I agree. He was (is) hilarious. And I'm no stand-up comedian (and I can't tell that joke out loud but I will let you read it) but I hope that I am 1/10 as surprising and funny (and offending) as George Carlin. So this blog was not much of a shock or surprise to me... seeing as how I had to type it twice. But if take 1 was a 10 (which it wasn't, it was probably an 8), this is only a 6.

I hope you chuckled!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

1st day of summer

OH wow... yesterday was the 1st day of summer! And I celebrated by eating 'ice cream' from Dairy Queen!

This new blog is soooo easy!

Testing something out...

I don't know if anyone else uses iGoogle.com.... but I do. And you can add little gadgets that let you do various things. I just added a gadget that lets me blog without having to go through many steps... not that blogging is THAT labor intensive, but I'm hoping if I can make it a little more convenient I will do it more.. So this is my test of that gadget. If you do use iGoogle, I made a little gadget that has a link to my blog, so you don't have to bookmark or type in my page. If you want to add the gadget, let me know and I will send it to you! I'm a huge dork! Happy Saturday to all!

Ingrid!

YAY! Ingrid's back! She broke right before Memorial Day Weekend - threw a fit and some bearings. Nearly a month later she is completely repaired and back to work! I've been using Jeff's mower, which is nice, but not really good for our park because it's so big, and it's 'throw-guard' is on the side, where Ingrid's is on the back, so you don't have to worry too much about throwing rocks and breaking windows and shtuff.

This week has been a big week in the world of the park - we had 35 rigs on Thursday night and probably about that on Wednesday. We have 2 clubs in and the past few days do feel like I've been running around with a chicken with it's head cut off (not like a chicken with it's head cut off but still running. Running like a chicken with it's head cut off means running in circles, panicky. Running with a similar chicken means running in many different directions, panicky, covered in blood.) Anyway, it's great for the park, but I have to admit I'm looking forward to tomorrow morning (when most of the rigs will be pulling out).

Mom got a birthday card from someone in Atlanta this week - which makes a lot of sense, because it was her birthday. But she didn't know who's handwriting it was - and the lack of a return address made her concerned about Anthrax. But I recognized the handwriting as definitely feminine. Mom thought it may belong to a certain extremist in Atlanta who is male. The photo of the handwriting is posted below (without my foot for perspective)...mom would never make it in the Anthrax department at the NSA. She could however make it in the conspiracy theorist department of the local sanitarium.



Happy Birthday, MOM!

Foreshadowing... mom and dad are going to be pirates today, and I'm going to be a cowboy. Also, Dan Judy is in the Northwest getting ready to hike another hugemongous mountain, so soon we will have a truly interesting blog to read! Have a great Saturday!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Tornado jokes...

Not really jokes... as much as just things that made me laugh. And now we're clearly out of danger and enough time has passed that you should not judge me for these laughs.

1st - on the radio in the storm shelter, the DJs (Deejays, not Dan Judys) kept saying Water Well Road. Which is fun to say. Try it. Water Well Woad would be way easier. Or, my personal favorite, Whatta Railroad! They said it about every 20 secs, because a tornado touched down there...and they were acting as if this was a very famous road. Water Well Road. Ahem. Yesterday Mom, Dad and I tried to head to Salina using our usual backroads, unfortunately, one was closed. So we had to venture off the beaten path (quite literally) and drive to Salina using mainly my bloodhound skillz. We had to drive on Water Well Road! And it is a dirt road that is delightfully bumpy. Felt like we were going 4-wheeling! I jiggled and giggled.

The second joke also came from the storm shelter radio. Those guys just set us up right and left for comedy gold. One of the 'spotters' was describing the aftermath of some dangerous winds - possibly a tornado. And he said "I don't know what it was, but something strong came through here." Unable to stop myself, I said "Like a BEAR!" My dad said "Sasquatch was here!" I wish I had been clever enough to remember Cassquatch.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Can I offer you a Nice Clean (R) Towelette?

So you may have heard about the tornadoes that touched down here Wednesday night. Or may be you didn't. But either way they touched the ground in the towns west of us and east of us, but skipped Abilene. Abilene really is a pretty blessed town. Mom, Dad and I spent about 30 minutes in the courthouse storm shelter, because believe it or not, my house doesn't have a storm shelter or basement. The town east of us, Chapman, got his pretty hard. It's about 12 miles from here and they are estimating that about 75-80% of the town was demolished by a 1/2-mile wide tornado.

Unfortunately, I don't have many pictures - but here's the link to the Abilene Newspaper.

Amazingly - we didn't even have any major limbs down. Our wireless antenna did appear to be struck by lightning... but that's getting off pretty easy considering.

Friday, June 6, 2008

But you can't make me blog...

if I don't
You cant make my hand type something it wont
Here in the park, in these summer hours
I will turn on my 'puter and I'll feel the power
And you will, oh you will
But you cant make blog, if I don't

Ah Bonnie... so versatile.

So, I have been away for far too long. Although the tree scaling post was awesome, it will not be my final blog. My final blog will probably be able something excessively lame, like how much I like gold sandals, because I will be an 80-year old woman living in Texas. So no fears. But you can't make me blog. I blog what I want, when I want! Cuz I am SASSIE!

The truth is, there is a ton to blog about! So much has happened: my ninja gear has come in...we had a heck of a storm last night... Summer bowling league has started...I rode a tractor... we had a Lewis family reunion that was awesome (the only way it could have been improved? a little less rain!) So this will mostly be a blog of catch up and pictures of the happenings... this blog is going to take me at least 30 minutes to complete.

The Ninja gear.
It's freaking awesome. Well, most of it - the ninja grappling hook is so much fun. I am not strong enough to use it completely as designed, but I have a lot of plans for altering the methods. The toe spikes are a little out of touch - they tie onto your shoes or boots with wimpy shoelaces- so when climbing vertically, your shoes slides backwards and the spikes stay in the tree. I have some alterations for this - I think I also have to accept that until I am stronger, I will need to use the ladder to get up the tree, then the ninja gear to scale it higher. Here are several photos of the first and only (to date) attempt with the gear.


Preparing to climb, installing Cyborg Ninja Monkey gear.


Proving I am not a ninja by requiring help from my brother in law, Steve, and niece, Molly. I love the cigarette, I hate the facial expression. You could've at least tried to make it look easy.


Showing my technique. Questionable at best.

I would like to say for the record - I did get up the tree eventually....and like I said - alterations will be made and there will be success.

Riding a tractor
I have done this on several occasions, but I've never had anyone around to take a picture.... I look just right on a tractor!




Summer bowling
It's 9-pin no-tap, so it should in theory be much easier. But the few weeks off have made me lose what little skills I have... so my first night, I set a very low average...I would bet around 95. So that leaves plenty of room for huge handicaps!! :)

Stormy weather
So it's tornado season here.. and yesterday the conditions were just perfect...luckily nothing really bad here happened except some downed limbs...which I have yet to clean up! Sorry all of these are so fuzzy - the wind was still really blowing when I went to take pictures. We got (I would guess) about 2 inches in about 10 minutes. Somebody's mesh sun shade (like a tent) blew away - so put on my rain coat and dragged it back and secured it, but when I finally got inside, I looked like a humongous drowned rat.



This is the limb that fell on my parents motorhome...



My foot for perspective.

Family Reunion
It was awesome. It was great to see Mom, Dad (who will be back in a few days), Mike, Tara, Erikka, Steve, Molly, Cari and Grandma. At the last minute, Grandma Rae was able to make it out. We literally took hundreds of pictures. I will try to share a few of the best ones here. Mike/Tara, Steve/Erikka, Cari... CDs with all the pictures are on the way to you. And for $10, I will send copies to anyone else :)

Me, Dad, Erikka:


For Mike:


Without Ninja gear, Cari was by far a better climber than me. Monkey.


Erikka, Baby Wareham (hiding), Steve, and Molly.


I tried to teach Molly to say that Kansas was paradise. Step one of that is relaxing in the hammock. You can't do that with shoes on... even if they're crocs.

Mike and Tara. Adorable.

Paradise. I think this was probably actually taken at Tara's at Thanksgiving, but I couldn't resist.

She really is incredibly strong...when we were trying to get her in her raft in the pool the first day... well, let's just say it didn't happen. But she's clearly one of the coolest people I know... one of her favorite songs is "hello, goodbye". I have some recordings of her singing... maybe I'll make something and YouTube it.

The pool was the best of times and the worst of times. Molly would put her feet in, despite the all day clouds, declare it 'just right!' and then fight viciously when we tried to put her in the raft. And when Zach and Brooke would go home, she would ask, "Where's Booke?"



And here's the main event, the coup de grace, the gravy, the icing. The family:

Now- a bit of seriousness... I love my space... and I have to admit, I was happy to get my bed back and a little bit of my routine is falling back into place. But I see that picture...and I tear up. I love all of you guys (all my people - not just the pictured ones) and wish we could all be in the same place forever. Well...maybe not the same house, but the same county would be cool.

Love.