So hard to believe, but we've lived in KC now for a year.
I've lived a lot of places - I mean, a LOT.
It doesn't feel like home here. It's not bad. I'm not unhappy. I don't hate it here. I have people that I am friendly with - not friends, mind you, but they laugh at my jokes and don't seem to hate me. My dogs have a little fenced yard. I have a park nearby that allows fishing and boating and biking and walking and leaf picking. My neighbors keep their yard picked up. So what is missing?
Here's what I know: when I visit Mom and Dad in Rogers, I feel better. When I visit with my friends in Abilene, I feel like I matter. When I see the yucky old river where I used to fish, I still get mad about the litter bugs. What is missing? The connection to the place, the people.
And that can't be forced. I could get a place a little further from the city - but the commute. Work must go on. I could try harder to make a connection with some of the friend-likes. But I've never been very good at the try to make a connection stage of life reboots. If it will happen, it will happen.
But, for now, we accept. We will continue to do this - and connect with whoever we can, when we can. Wanna prediction?
We won't renew the lease in December 2014.
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3 comments:
Glad to see the new blog - sounds kind of sad. I like your prediction, I think you are right. Here's mine for 2014...things will get better, gotta right? Big life changing events are in the Lewis family's future. Things will get more familiar. Abilene is going to be hard to beat. But, so was Roswell and we did it. Love ya, DaMom
Nah, not sad, just acknowledging that I'm not yet where I want to be. It's amazing how fast this year went, and if I don't stop and make plans, the next one will zoom by too.
Another December is upon us...DaMom
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